eliinaworld

There's always a dark spot..

2010-06-23T00:52:00.002+03:00

I've been very happy lately! =) Seriously happy! =)

First. I made it quits with the Social Democratic Youth. I did have regrets a bit before their board gathered but the more time goes on I realize how right that decision was. Being with some people there made me so unhappy and I didn't even realize how much! True friends from that organization know how to contact me in other ways and I truly appreciate still having them in my life! =)

Second. I attended my pre-departing training and it made me realize that I'm really really going away for a year. I did know it before but there it just turned into reality. This means...

Third. I have now only a month + few days of working left. August I will take for myself- for attending the camp in Norway, for throwing my farewell-party, for just relaxing and getting almost normal sleeping schedule back.

Fourth. My darling Liisu graduated from high-school. She looked amazing and I'm so proud of my adoptive sister! =)

All these things make my soul feel light. And I can't wait for my EVS year to begin! It will be a great one, I'm sure! =)

But with all the happiness there still is a thorn in my soul. There's worry about one particular person. And it's actually driving me insane not to be able to do anything about it. I wish I could help. But it's not allowed. I hope that this certain part of me will get fixed soon. Otherwise I'm afraid my sadness will come back.

Huh, I'm going to shake it off now. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Will be in happy-mood again =)

38 days left until Experience 2010!!! =D

Movies of 2010

2010-05-11T23:45:00.003+03:00

I started to think about the movies of 2010 I need to go to see in the movies. Plus what movies I have to rent since I haven't seen them.

Renting (or downloading)-
Avatar (can't believe I missed it)
(500) Days of Summer (recommendedby a friend)
Taking Woodstock (recommended)
Disko ja tuumasõda (recommended)

Movies-
The A-Team (not sure if it's good, but I need to know myself)
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (even though I didn't like New Moon at all I'm hoping David Slade made a better job)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (tradition)
Sex and the City 2 (I'm a girl, what more can I say?)
Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D (I do have the first 2 movies in DVD's at home, quite like the saga even though it's not my favorite genre)

Any other suggestions? =)

2010-05-07T15:53:00.002+03:00

The more I talk and explain the bitchier I feel. Am I trying to convince others or myself? Am I really as bad as they're saying?
This doesn't help at all..

The drawer.

2010-05-07T01:04:00.002+03:00

I feel like my brain could explode sometimes. I have so many thoughts in my head and they are all mixed up and tangled like a ball of yarn. And I can't seem to manage to untangle them. Where to start? And some thoughts and questions will haunt me forever, until I get my answer. And the answer has to be thorough in order for me to discard it. And I hate not having a person beside me who knows me and accepts me the way I am. Okay, I have few people like that, but they are mostly far away. And let's be honest. Msn, facebook, phone calls.. they just don't fill the feeling, the longing.. Sometimes I wish to jump. Jump and just keep falling. And not have to think. Pure of thoughts, pure of everything. Just the air in my lungs and the wind on my skin. I long for silence. But it's impossible now. And I keep collecting thoughts in my brain. I call it my drawer, because I'm incapable to store them on a piece of paper. Even this post is difficult and takes a lot of willing.
I miss you! And you! And you! And I just need you to contact me, stop being to distant. I need you.

Say you love someone if you do!

2010-04-14T01:44:00.003+03:00

Got a little scare tonight. But I'm glad Peter and Marie got away with minor injuries!
Life is short. Seriously. It could all end just like that. It's a matter of seconds. I told Peter that I love him the day before and I will tell it now even more often. Because I don't want him not to know it.
Cherish your friends and loved ones!
Hugs.

Maybe you know?

2010-03-13T02:45:00.002+02:00

Why do people always love wrong people? I know I have asked this question before but this time it came haunting again.

We never believe in us. We never believe that we are worth the best. And thus we torment ourselves with loving persons who (if you really tell yourself the truth) will never love you the way you love them. For them you are like a shoulder to cry on, a place to let your sorrow out. But it ends there. Because they take their happy thoughts and moments somewhere else. And you, who has seen the weak side of a human being fall in love. And since you know the persons deepest secrets and you understand why he is acting like that you let yourself to be treated badly; while saying yourself- 'It's okay, he doesn't mean it like that. Not really. He just has to solve the problems he has and then he will see how wonderful he is.' And secretly you hope things between you and him will change. From friendship to more.

But it won't. It may be pessimistic but through this misery you could actually miss the person you were supposed to be with all along. Yeah, yeah. If it's supposed to be true love then it will happen anyway. But I just have to ask myself- how long I can and must wait? When is the right time to give up and grab some other great potential relationship possibility; or when is the right time to wait?

Fortunately I don't have to deal with this kind of a problem at the moment. But a good friend of does. We haven't known each other for long but I already know this person is going to be my friend for a very long time. And I hate when friends of mine are hurting. It always makes me feel hopeless. But I'm trying not to pressure, I try to let my friend deal with it by herself/himself. I hope the right decision comes. No matter what, I'll sit beside you.

---

But me. I'm happy now. I always feel happy when being with Active people. I feel like home. I'm just sad that tomorrow it will end. Not for eternity but for this time. But it will feel like an eternity nevertheless. Anyways. Sweet dreams, my dears, time for bed.

XOXO, the Russian girl =P

A.

2009-10-15T04:20:00.000+03:00

I would never have thought I could actually hate myself more than I already do.

I had to do it. For the greater good, you see.

Do you?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2009-10-11T13:41:00.001+03:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I wanna scream!! =s

Life shows.

2009-10-11T12:54:00.004+03:00

Yesterday my Paide girls came to Tartu again because our favorite band was playing in Püssirohukelder. The night was great mostly but still there are some bad memories to have. When we arrived there it was about 20.45. We sat in a table and while Mona was putting away our coats a dude from a near-by table yelled at her 'Meat! Meat!'. Well. Nice, isn't it? That was kind of innocent. We let it go quickly. The band invited us to their table as usual so we got away from that unwanted company.

Dancing. We dance in a circle. Normal, right? It usually is. From time to time Mona or Moonika or me have to bounce some people away from Lenna cause they stumble on her (for those who don't know- Lenna is in a wheelchair). Well, yesterday was pure madness. Seems all we did was fight off people who fell on her. Usually we just slightly push the people away with dance moves and sometimes we have to tell people to be careful. It's enough then. But not yesterday. From the same 'Meat' company there were people who were obviously drunk and dancing with no sense of rhythm or music for that matter. We frequently told them to be careful, pushed them away with little more force even but they were to shitfaced to comprehend the problem. And from what we saw we don't think it was just alcohol that made them so blear-eyed but we suspect there were some kind of drugs involved also. When the band wasn't playing they 'danced' to the stereo music. They fell down a lot. At some point the security guard (finally) came and threw a girl out.

That of course wasn't the most eventful happening of the evening. We were dancing and then we heard it. A big crashing sound. I turned around just when I saw the shards of glass flying all around. http://www.pyss.ee/?page=7&sub=2&pilt=1503 . If You look at the picture then to the left situates the stage. In front of it is the dance floor. And beside the floor there are the 4 tables you can see in the picture also. Well. The thing that crashed was a wooden barrel that fell off the display section between the first and the second storey. It landed exactly there were some minutes ago a group of people were sitting. Thank God they were dancing also!!! And it wasn't the pubs fault! Some asshole was standing on the barrel (that's what the lead singer told us) and when he decided to climb back up he accidentally kicked the barrel away. Really. I can't imagine what the people who were there just minutes before felt after that bang. Even I was shaken by it. Moonika took time to calm me down. Things like that bring up my worst memories. Things I've witnessed. Things that happen to me I can mostly forget; but if someone else is hurt it will haunt me forever.

I already lacked a good nights sleep and yesterday when I only had 3 hours for sleep I just couldn't. So now I am here, sitting at work and fighting the desperate urge to sleep. Few hours left, yes!!=) And then I'm offline till tomorrow evening. I hope I can sleep tonight.

What I wanted to say with this post is that this is why I hate alcohol more and more every freaking day. It would never(!) have happened if that man had been sober!!

And girls! Thank you again for a wonderful night! It never is boring with you, isn't it? =D

Hugs to you all!

Jumping over my shadow.

2009-10-01T23:52:00.002+03:00

I've always been like that. Whenever I have bad mood I prefer to deal with it alone. I hate people's eyes on me when I feel myself ugly. And sadness makes me feel ugly and not worthy of showing. I prefer people remembering the goofy silly laughing me. That is why my best friends have to suffer so much. They want to help but I just won't let them. "Get over it, Eliina. That's what friends are for!" I keep telling myself over and over again. It's so hard. Now I have 2 persons in my life with whom I feel almost just a little bit comfortable being with when I don't feel like being with people. That's a really big step for me. I really hope I'll manage it better in the future and stop being such a whiny ass bitch. Phoof.

Something...

2009-09-16T04:09:00.002+03:00

Hey everyone who actually read my blog! =)

Once again I have to apologize for not writing for so long. Life has been mostly the same- work and sleep and sometimes a bit politics. A week ago I turned 23. Doesn't feel old at all but since Peter insisted on calling me a grandma, I'm going with 20+ =D

About politics. I'm running for the Council of Tartu. Getting in there is utopia, since it only has 49 places. And on my party's list I'm no29. Utopia today, reality tomorrow. All and all I think it's a good experience, any vote for my party is a step towards a better society, at least that's what I believe in.

Sleep is as always- very chaotic. Although I can't seem to get enough of it lately. I sleep A LOT but still I feel tired all the time. I think I'm stressed because my hair are falling out with bigger and bigger handfuls every day. Don't know why I'm stressed cause nothing's really wrong in my life and there's nothing to stress about. Maybe a bit because of work but I'll drop the subject now. Inside problems, that's all I say.

And I want to get out of Estonia for a while. There's Germany.. where I could visit my relatives and Peter.. and of course other Juvente DE people I know. And there's also Switzerland which I miss the most. Switzerland at fall is the most beautiful! Autumn is anyways my favorite time of the year and If you add beautiful nature to it then it's like a fairytale! And company there wouldn't be bad also =p And then there's Ireland- the one country I've always wanted to visit. Don't ask me why.. there are so many reasons and I'm not sure I want to publicize them.

I do get my free time also- and by that I mean the time with my wonderful friends. Mostly I spend my free days reading or playing HP4 on the computer =p My birthday was amazing. I got well-wishes from everywhere, including across the ocean =D And then there was Friday when my darlings Mooni, Lenna & Mona came from Paide =)

I miss Merit a lot- YOU'RE WORKING TOOO MUCH! I guess we'll have time to spend with each other in October.
Oh.
No.
Then the active campaigning is on.
November?

At the end of October there will be the Autumn School of the Social Democratic Youth.. I can't wait for that any longer! There could be some people who I haven't seen in ages and miss a lot and I'm happy if they come there! =)

Right now I'll live my life quietly as always. Nudge me If you want to know more about what's going on in my life ;) Although I'm more visible in Facebook or Twitter. See you there ;)

=(

2009-08-29T17:15:00.002+03:00

Something really big is missing in my life. Like a huge piece of me is gone, away, in an unknown place.

Merit knows... 2011, 2011, 2011. I'll survive till then!!

Grr.

2009-08-11T12:01:00.002+03:00

Is it reasonable to make other people's lives much harder so yours could be easier? Well. In my opinion that makes a person an utter bitch/bastard.

Active.

2009-07-30T03:18:00.003+03:00

Wow. Already over a month since I last wrote something here? Well. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't have anything to say... Now I do have some thoughts I would like to share with You.

As some of You might know I had my vacation. And I used it to go to the Active summer camp. This time in Albania. The last Active event I went to was in 2005. Plus the 'Get out of the box' seminar in Estonia 2006/2007. So I've been away from Active and it's people for a long time. I had other interests and I thought that I don't have any room for Active in my life. I was so wrong. Being in Albania with all those wonderful people just made me realize how much I've missed it. I bet Maik feels proud now.

The camp made me remember why I used to live that lifestyle before; why I said no to alcohol and such. I felt like myself in so many ways in that camp. Not the Eliina I used to be but better and improved. At least I like to think like that. From one way it's great and everything this epiphany but on the other hand it's scary and I feel quite alone now. The people I 'hang out' with now are mostly alcohol consumers. But I think some of them will respect my decision to leave alcohol behind me forever =) And with that thought I'm not alone. Seriously. I have so many amazing friends in so many countries that I couldn't be alone even If I tried to =p And the distance between us gets shorter and shorter. Thank God for planes- my favourite invention of all time! =)

I do feel happy- and it's wonderful! =)Now I have so much to look forward to- Norway next summer and hopefully something else in between ;) I've missed this type of family in my heart. And I'm glad they're with me in their thoughts. I truly do love You guys!!

Am I actually growing up? :s

Dreams are my sanctuary.

2009-06-22T21:01:00.002+03:00

I feel so cut off from the real world lately. Everything is so surreal. I don't enjoy anything. Everything gets on my nerves. I get comfort from fictional characters. It doesn't make a difference whether through a book or a movie. And I live with them in my dreams, making my own stories to fit their lives. I listen to certain singers like they are singing only for me, because their lyrics describe exactly my thoughts.

Crazy, huh? I know.

But somehow it makes me feel happy. Or happier than I am at the moment. When I get old and senile I wish I would have the same dreams I am having now. Although. They are getting worse after every night. Not ending happily. Mostly I wake up exhausted and dazed. I feel like I'm losing that comfort also. What's wrong with me? Is the real world so bad that I can't put myself in it? Why won't I just get out of my home to meet my friends (If I have any of them left anymore)? I crave for loneliness. I think my job is to blame. After communicating with people all day long I just want peace. Sometimes even peace from myself. So I read. And watch movies. Quite depressing.

2009-06-22T16:02:00.001+03:00

I hate when Youtube does this:

"This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions."

What the hell is wrong with MY country, huh?

A person can complain. And do that again.

2009-06-13T19:01:00.003+03:00

Reading the reviews on a certain page about the hotel I work in I just can't stop sneering. One comment that people leave sounds mostly like this- "The receptionist can't speak my language!" Oh dear god! Could that person be more of an egoist? I'm sure it's the same regardless of the country. Neighbor countries should speak their language? In Estonia the biggest complainers are of course the Finnish and the Russians. Why the hell should You presume that all people in Estonia can speak Finnish and Russian; and that perfectly? It's humanly impossible to learn all the languages in the world! People make choices. Including the choice which language to learn at school. I chose the languages I felt I can speak easily and can be useful in the future. I haven't learned any Finnish at school, but at least I try to. And for that You start to complain? Learn ENGLISH!! That's the international language all should speak! I wonder why Latvians don't presume I speak Latvian as well? :p And we don't presume Latvians can speak Estonian? Paldies for that ;)

Out of the box, people, out of the box!

Pt, pt, pt.

2009-06-12T19:27:00.002+03:00

I should really start taking risks. And that in the right places. I'm always wrong, aren't I?

PS. Can't wait for my sweethearts coming to visit me among other things. God, I miss them. Tomorrow couldn't come slower!

PSPS. July. Should I or shouldn't I. I want to. I will eliminate the obstacles. Fast.

PSPSPS. I know, it doesn't make sense at all.

Öötöö hakkab juba mõju avaldama.

2009-05-30T01:59:00.002+03:00

Tänase öö tsitaate minu suust:

"See on ka üks Hollywoodi näitleja. Hästi kole, aga pole hullu!"

"Meeletud koduperenaised." (rääkides siis Meeleheitel koduperenaistest)

"Ta oli liiga rase."

Ja õde mul:

"Mis päris pruut?"

Ilmselgelt me ei tohi koos tööl olla :D

Mõrvar.

2009-05-28T13:19:00.002+03:00

Mul on tänase hommikupoolikuga kogunenud juba 8 surma hingele.

Sääsed, raisk.

-- deem- EDIT! Sekund enne postituse saatmist tapsin sääse nr.9.

Kes kannatab, see kaua elab.

2009-05-28T12:18:00.004+03:00

Olen peale Twilight'i nägemist ja järje filmimise väljakuulutamisest saati jälginud lehekülge www.newmoonmovie.org . See on ühe fänni tehtud lehekülg, kus saab detailideni teada New Moon'i näitlejate tegevusest ja filmimise kulgemisest. Täna ma tegin vea ja avasin ühe spoileri lingi. Mh. Rikkus palju mu jaoks ära, liigagi palju. Seega otsustasin, et 5 minutit tagasi vaatasin seda veebilehte viimast korda. Alles peale filmi kinodesse jõudmist loen 125. leheküljest edasi.
Kannatan ja vaatan novembris täispikka filmi Ekraanis koos Meritiga hoopis. Ongi põnevam :D

Karjäär teleturus.

2009-05-27T17:51:00.000+03:00

The Fartcatcher 3000- seda Heiki ostaks :p

Puhkus?

2009-05-25T23:40:00.002+03:00

Mul oli puhkus 18.-24.mai. Ametlikult. Aga tänu ilusale graafikule olid mul vabad ka 16. ja 17.mai.

16.mai- Terve päev läks koristamise nahka. Õhtul oli oodata külalisi mu soolaleivale. Merit oli see, kes kõige esimesena jõudis ja kellega koos ma ka toidu- ja joogikraami ostma läksin. Pärast ta aitas põrandat katta (mul pole lauda toa keskel). Õhtu oli ääretult lõbus. Eriti kihvt oli koos oma sõpradega Eurovisiooni vaadata. Norra võit ei olnud kellelegi üllatus, aga ma ei saa siiani aru, miks see laul nii eriline on. Mulle ta ei meeldi. Aga küllap hakkab siis meeldima, kui kõigil teistel on see kopa ette visanud, nii palju ma ennast tunnen.
Aitäh neile, kes mulle külla jõudsid! :) Ja aitäh kinkide eest!

17.mai- ma ausõna ei mäleta sellest päevast midagi. See pole pohmelusest ega muust taolisest, sest olin laupäeval täiesti kaine. Süüdistage mu haugimälu.

18.mai- hommikul ärkasin vara, sest pidin kella 9ks ema juurde jõudma. Plaan oli maale sõita. Maja ette jõudes helistasin ja teatasin, et olen all ning mul kästi üles ronida, sest sättimine veel käib. Ei teinud just tuju heaks. Mökutamine käis kuni 9.45ni. Kasutasin seda aega oma meilide lugemiseks. Lõpuks ometi saime minema. Tartust väljumise küll aga 10.30, kuna oli vaja hankida bensiini, kalmuküünlaid ja õde auto peale võtta. Jõudsime lõpuks Palale. Arsti juures käidud, liikusime Viljusele. Sain külateele jõudes rooli taha (emal oli hea tuju). Väga lahe oli jälle üle tüki aja sõita. Võiks ennast kokku võtta ja load lõpuks ära teha. Võtsime Viljuselt paar vajalikku asja ja siis me kihutasime juba vanatädi poole, et talle tere öelda. Meid ootas kook ja kohv. Ääretult mõnus oli üle tüki aja jälle koos olla. Hiljem käisime veel surnuaial ja siis kiirelt Tartusse. 14.45 pidin juba Ekraani juures olema, aga ikkagi hilinesin, sest emal ja vanaemal oli poodi ka vaja minna.

Jõudsin lõpuks kino juurde. Läksime Meritiga Ingleid ja deemoneid vaatama. Täitsa hea film oli. Välja tulles nägin 3 vastamata kõnet. Alati helistatakse siis, kui pole aega vastata. Kahjuks ma AHL'i akende pesemisele ei jõudnudki. Meritiga kino ees seistes nägime Star Treki postrit ja seansiaega 21.40. Mõtlesime, et what the hell, lähme vaatama :p Piletid ostetud, läksime Ludo'sse- see on lauamängude pood Riia mäel. Ääretult muhe teenindaja oli seal ning me saime Meritiga kõhutäie naerda. Hiljem liikusime Meriti poole. Teel haarasime paar pizzat kaasa. Kui kõht täis, kõndisime taas kino poole. Live long and prosper. Haha. Päris vaadatav film oli. Ja siis lõpuks koju. Seal tuli meelde, et Mp3 ja Harry Potter jäid ema autosse. Hõissa.

19.mai- Äratus 8.30. Eurobussi kampaaniad Jõgeval ja Palamusel. Õhtu veetsime tiimiga Voorel. Tore oli. 22.45 jäin teleka ees magama. Öösel ärkasin, sest keegi tropp rääkis liiga kõvasti- telekas loomulikult.

20.mai- Äratus taas 8.30. Eurobussi kampaaniad Mustveel ja Põltsamaal. Õhtul Tartus sain veel kokku Liinaga. Istusime McDonalds'i parklas, nautisime jäätisekokteile ja üksteise seltskonda =).

21.mai- Plaan oli hommikul ema juurde pesu pesema minna, aga magasin hoopis ülbelt sisse. Unevajadus oli. Kella 14 paiku jõudis kohale Moonika :D Läksime linna peale jalutama. Ostsime jäätist ja istusime Jaani kiriku juures pingil. Päike soojendas mõnusasti. Hea oli muljetada vahepeal toimunust, näeme üksteist ikka liialt harva. Kuna Merit ootas meid külla, siis asusime tema poole teele. Tegime lauamängude õhtu, mis kestis südaööni. Ja nalja sai kõvasti. Alustasime Scrabble'iga (kui ma ei eksi). Siis mäng nimega Take it easy. Järgmisena Maailma Imed, mis oli tohutult tujurikkuv ning selle mängu jätsime kiirelt pooleli (selle mänguga saavad hakkama ainult akadeemikud/geeniused). Viimasena Imago. Kuna meid endid oli ainult viis, siis tühjad lahtrid täitsime nimedega Rolf (Junior/Roosalu) ja Savimees (take a wild guess who THAT is). Päris huvitav oli eelarvamustele tuginedes arvata, mida nemad mingis olukorras teeks või oleks :)
Lõpuks liikusime Moonikaga kodu poole, teel hüppasime läbi Statoilist. Enne magamaminekut võis minu voodis näha kaht neidu, kes lugesid mõlemad küünlavalgel oma Twilight'i. Hihii.

22.mai- Hommikul ärkasime plaaniga minna Lõunakasse. Merit ei saanud kahjuks meiega ühineda. Ühistransport meie puhul on nagunii suur NO-NO, seega jalutasime sinna. Kohapeal tuulasime paaris poes. Kleiti ma endale ostetud ei saanud, kuna see lihtsalt ei sobinud, pähh. Otsisin ka vabaaja kingi, aga minu kriteeriumitele ei vastanud ükski paar. Siis tegin ma pattu ja kulutasin raha järjekordsete kontsakingade peale. Need panen ma jalga ainult väga tähtsatel üritustel, sest nad on muuks liiga ilusad. Oeh.

Peale Lõunakat läksime korraks koju, kus tegime lõunauinaku. Lihtsalt kohutav, kui väsinud me olime. Uinak oli minu meelest liiga lühike :p Igatahes peatselt jooksis Moonika ühele kohtumisele ja mina hakkasin sättima õhtuks. Esimesena läksin Juvente rock'n'rolli peole. Jõudsin sinna liialt vara ning sain paarkümmend minutit nautida Kassitoomet. Lõpuks jõudsid ka Ena ja Vanakas ning mind kupatati kööki. Paar minutit hiljem saabus Moonika. Noad kätte ja asusime juur- ja puuvilju lõikuma. Vaikselt tulid ka teised ning mu süda rõkkas iga kord. Moonika muigas kõrval, sest tema jaoks oli see seltskond võõras, aga minu jaoks olid nad kunagi pere. Mõnes mõttes on siiani. Õhtu oli täis nalja ja naeru ja mulle kohati pisarate tagasihoidmist- mälestuste tulv oli suur. Lahkusime Moonikaga kell 23, et minna kuulama Big Benis ansamblit Väike Mees. Kahju oli kõige rohkem sellest, et Lennat ja Monat polnud meiega. Tantsisime siiski nagu hullud ja seda üldjuhul kahekesi tantsuplatsil. Tüüpiline, eks ole L&M? :D Peale pidu külastasime taas Statoili. Traditsioon on kujunemas :p

23.mai- Äratus oli väga varajane. 6.40. Aga ma ikkagi lükkasin kella edasi. 7.20 ajasime end lõpuks üles. Kell 8 olime juba kontori juures. Oleks seda teadnud, et Tiit hilineb (mis tegelikult ei üllata), poleks me ilmselt nii palju kiirustanud. Tohutult nõme oli Moonikat nii vara üles ajada, aga loodan südamest, et ta väga ei pahanda. Vähemalt sai ta hommikul ühelt kenalt noormehelt kallistuse. Saaks minagi neid nii tihti ja nii põhjalikult :p

Moonikaga hüvasti jäetud, liikusime Tallinna poole. Seiklus Kevadkool 2009 võis alata! :) Mäol tegime Statoilis peatuse (mis tuletab meelde- Kertu, lähme vormistame selle Extra-kaardi lõpuks ära:)). Ostsime süüa-juua. Tiidu autos pole topsihoidjat, seega panin oma kakao enda ette armatuurile. Kertu hakkas mingi hetk liikuma ning Tiit andis oma hotdogi minu kätte. Hoidsin siis nii enda kui tema hotdogi. Kakao olemasolu olin selleks ajaks juba unustanud. Võite kolm korda arvata, mis esimeses kurvis juhtus. Oli selline mõnus slow-motion moment, kus sa näed midagi kukkumas, aga ei saa teha midagi, et seda takistada. Teksad said kakaoseks. Enda peale olin ikka maruvihane. Saatsin Raigole ka sõnumi juhtunust, et nad saaks Kertu autos natuke naerda :D Õnneks teadsin, et mul on varupüksid olemas. Võtsin need kaasa tänu sellele, et volikogul korralikult riides olla. Aga sellest pikemalt hiljem. Ülejäänud tee läks kiirelt. Ehmatasime Tiiduga Ivari vist põhjalikult ära, sest kui Judy Garland hakkas Ipodis laulma, siis laulsime ka meie Tiiduga kõvasti ja valesti kaasa: Somewheeeere over the raaainbooow...

Tallinnas suundusime bussijaama, et Kertu autosse veel võtta kaks Viljandi tüdrukut. Kohapeal teatas Raigo, et ka tema ajas autos kakaod laiali. Küll mitte nii mahukalt kui mina, aga siiski :p Ints ütleks ilmselt selle peale "Te olete nii ühtekad" :D Senikaua kui kõik teised olid neid peatuses ootamas, vahetasin ma autos pükse. Suht avalik tegevus oli :p Siis liikusime kontorisse. Päris suure ringiga saime kohale :D Aga mis Sa tahad- tartlased Tallinnas, eks ole :p Kertu saadetud sõnum oli küll tippude tipp :D

Kontorist liikusin mina oma grupiga Kristiinesse kampaaniat tegema. Tubli tiim oli. Aitäh Teile Elo, Reelika, Rommy, Rami, Taavi ja Indrek!

Ja siis sõit Laulasmaale. See oli hulka lühem sõit kui ma arvasin, aga see-eest mitte grammigi sündmustevaene. Elo, Sirli ja Ramiga pooltund ühes autos on lihtsalt hämmastavalt ergutav :D Kohapeal jagati meid tubadesse ja seejärel "peredesse". Elolased olid minu pere- Elo, Reelika, Indrek, Ivar, Tiit ja mina. Oli 4 peret ja need hakkasid Kevadkooli vältel üksteisega võistlema. Meie algus polnud paljutõotav, aga me parandasime oma positsiooni iga võistlusega. Eriti kihvt oli petanque. Seda võitu ei unusta vist niipea. Jüri Tamm käis ka noorsotsidega rääkimas. Õhtul ootas muidki tegevusi ja üllatusi. Ja siis vaba aeg. Kõik muu juhtunu jääb Laulasmaale, minu mälestustesse ja selle seltskonna vahele, kes sellest osa said :P

Magama sain alles 4.30, ma arvan. Nägin halba und ja magasin tegelikult kehvasti, aga ärkasin juba 8.30.

24.mai- Hämmastavalt energiline olin kogu ülejäänud päeva. Minu pere võitis :D Uhke olen nende üle! :) Ahjaa. Tiit pidi loomulikult oma autot tükkideks tegema ja sellega pooled mu närvid ära sööma. Kõik teised olid juba ammu Tallinnas kui meie alles liikuma saime. See põhjustas meie hilinemise volikogule. Rõõmus see volikogu polnud, sest lisaks asejuhataja mittevalimisele jäi valimata ka poliitikavaldkonna juht. Minu silmis ülekohus Martini üle, aga ma siiralt loodan, et ta järgmine kord taas kandideerib. Ise ma olen otsustanud, et ma enam ei kandideeri asejuhataja kohale. Leidku parem kandidaat. Püüan olla vähemalt eeskujulik volikogu liige siis.

Tagasi sõitsin juba Kertu autos. Alguses oli sõit mu jaoks nukrameelne. Olin nii omas mullis ja pisaradki jooksid üle põskede. Tartu poole jõudes läks tuju natuke paremaks.

25.mai- Magasin konkreetselt päev otsa. Puhkus on möödas, aga puhata nagu ei saanudki. Nüüd juba tööl. Mõtteid on siiamaani peas sadu ja selgust ei paista. Lubasin Marisele, et ma liialt ei mõtleks teatud asjadele. Püüan.

Jään ootama järgmist puhkust ja järgmist hooajakooli :) Muus osas- elu läheb samamoodi edasi nagu seni. Töötähe all ;)

Minu postkast.

2009-05-25T23:31:00.002+03:00

Tirisin eelmisel nädalal oma postkastilt maha kleepsu "Palun valimisreklaamiga mitte tülitada" või mis ta oligi. Ilmselt oli see eelmise omaniku kleebitud. Edukas oli see tegu. Kohe järgneval päeval oli mu postkastis reformikate Eurokiri. Täna aga sain Kesikute reklaami. Vaatan mina siis seda ja loen ja imestan. Mis põrgut pidi on see, et Ansipi valitsus kuskile ei kõlba, üldse seotud Eurooa Parlamendiga? Kui Eesti vajab vahetust, siis seda kohalikel valimistel ja kindlasti kohe mitte nende näol, kes ajavad meie riigi oma tobedate naiivsete lubadustega uppi. Ja seda nad ka ei maini, et Reformid ja Kesikud on Europarlamendis ühes fraktsioonis, nii et siinne üksteise materdamine ei tähenda tegelikult midagi. Loodan, et inimesed ei ole nii lollid, et nende poolt hääletada. Aga see vaid minu tagasihoidlik arvamus.

"What?"..

2009-05-06T07:12:00.002+03:00

... that's the question they had in their eyes when we entered the hospital. My sister and I just despise going there now. I know that it is hard for the hospital workers because they are working too much for a shitty pay and their salaries are being cut even more, but for the love of god- stop being such bitches! When times are difficult and I'm confused and probably can't think straight, then please-please be reasonable! I don't work there! Don't look at me like I'm an idiot for not knowing the way to a fucking department. I'm so mad I can't even describe it. I really thought that a hospital is a place where people are nice to You, taking into consideration Your current moment; but I was wrong, oh so wrong! They just don't give a fuck! It just clearly shows there's something truly wrong with the system. If this kind of attitude will still be there when I'm in the need to be there, I'd rather not be. My poor family who has to visit me and get a trauma because of it, haven't deserved it! Don't go into medicine If You don't have a heart! You'll just ruin so many days and moods. F again.