Jumping over my shadow.

I've always been like that. Whenever I have bad mood I prefer to deal with it alone. I hate people's eyes on me when I feel myself ugly. And sadness makes me feel ugly and not worthy of showing. I prefer people remembering the goofy silly laughing me. That is why my best friends have to suffer so much. They want to help but I just won't let them. "Get over it, Eliina. That's what friends are for!" I keep telling myself over and over again. It's so hard. Now I have 2 persons in my life with whom I feel almost just a little bit comfortable being with when I don't feel like being with people. That's a really big step for me. I really hope I'll manage it better in the future and stop being such a whiny ass bitch. Phoof.