Dreams are my sanctuary.

I feel so cut off from the real world lately. Everything is so surreal. I don't enjoy anything. Everything gets on my nerves. I get comfort from fictional characters. It doesn't make a difference whether through a book or a movie. And I live with them in my dreams, making my own stories to fit their lives. I listen to certain singers like they are singing only for me, because their lyrics describe exactly my thoughts.

Crazy, huh? I know.

But somehow it makes me feel happy. Or happier than I am at the moment. When I get old and senile I wish I would have the same dreams I am having now. Although. They are getting worse after every night. Not ending happily. Mostly I wake up exhausted and dazed. I feel like I'm losing that comfort also. What's wrong with me? Is the real world so bad that I can't put myself in it? Why won't I just get out of my home to meet my friends (If I have any of them left anymore)? I crave for loneliness. I think my job is to blame. After communicating with people all day long I just want peace. Sometimes even peace from myself. So I read. And watch movies. Quite depressing.

I hate when Youtube does this:

"This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions."

What the hell is wrong with MY country, huh?

A person can complain. And do that again.

Reading the reviews on a certain page about the hotel I work in I just can't stop sneering. One comment that people leave sounds mostly like this- "The receptionist can't speak my language!" Oh dear god! Could that person be more of an egoist? I'm sure it's the same regardless of the country. Neighbor countries should speak their language? In Estonia the biggest complainers are of course the Finnish and the Russians. Why the hell should You presume that all people in Estonia can speak Finnish and Russian; and that perfectly? It's humanly impossible to learn all the languages in the world! People make choices. Including the choice which language to learn at school. I chose the languages I felt I can speak easily and can be useful in the future. I haven't learned any Finnish at school, but at least I try to. And for that You start to complain? Learn ENGLISH!! That's the international language all should speak! I wonder why Latvians don't presume I speak Latvian as well? :p And we don't presume Latvians can speak Estonian? Paldies for that ;)

Out of the box, people, out of the box!

Pt, pt, pt.

I should really start taking risks. And that in the right places. I'm always wrong, aren't I?

PS. Can't wait for my sweethearts coming to visit me among other things. God, I miss them. Tomorrow couldn't come slower!

PSPS. July. Should I or shouldn't I. I want to. I will eliminate the obstacles. Fast.


PSPSPS. I know, it doesn't make sense at all.