I want to sleep!

Damn it! I'm soooooooo tired! I have things to do tomorrow; sorry- already today; that I just can't postpone. And I have to wait for Sunday evening to get a good sleep I crave for so much..

At least this weekend will be different from my other not-so-eventful weekends. I'm going to Pärnumaa for Winter School. My mind is happy and I can't wait for it to begin already. But my body insists to be stubborn and ruin the good thoughts.

Moody.

Impossible.

I was planning to go to Tallinn in February. That was before I saw my work schedule. Now seeing my friends in Tallinn in February is a lost cause. Yeay!

To be..

Today Liina was proud of me. I wish I would be that confident as well. We'll see. Right now I'm a bit on the edge, I don't know exactly what to feel. I guess I should be proud of myself too, but there is also a lot of fear that I have to conquer.


Time will tell.

Twinkle-twinkle.

Somebody said I sparkle today. I guess so. First- I got two good news from R. And second- I'm reading Twilight again. And that sincere love makes me smile like a freak while sitting behind the counter..

Yes! =)

I got Twilight from the post-office today! =) So all I have to wait for are Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and then my collection is complete.


Happy :)

What do I think..

So.


I finished Breaking Dawn. It was exactly like reading the last lines of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I feel numb inside. A chapter in my life has ended. I've really learned to love the characters in those books. I'm angry with them, I laugh with them, I love with them. Amazing, amazing job, Stephenie! And this is coming from someone who doesn't even like reading! So I'm looking forward to Midnight Sun and whatever comes afterwords, because even we all know basically what is going to happen; I and probably thousands more just can't get enough of these 'beings' You've created.

I also thought about the Twilight frenzy that has hit the earth so suddenly. One part is yes- the movie. I loved the movie too. But. I just can't help but wonder if this is mainly because of Robert who was absolutely dashing and beautiful in that picture (obviously I'm also one of them who's 'in love with him'). Hopefully people will take the time to actually read also. After reading the saga I realized that I love all of them. Even Aro and Caius :) Because they are as much part it as are all the Cullens, Charlie etc. Now I feel more drawn to their world as opposed to 'mine'. And I think I know the reason for that. Silly but true- love.

I don't want to explain more. Just. I want to recommend You to read those books so You too can be a part of that incredible world. Even though it's fiction, the basic things in life never change. Hard to explain, better to discover YOURSELF!
http://www.stepheniemeyer.com . True master of words.

"I love it when a plan comes together"..

... as Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith used to say.


Well.


That ain't the case this time. I was in the bookshop. And I only saw New Moon there. Although according to the web page there should have been also Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. When I asked this is what I heard- there is only one Eclipse and one Breaking Dawn left and they have already been reserved by someone.


Aargh. This time I'm just going to spend the extra money and order them via web-shop.


Obviously still addicted. Is there a rehab-center created for this??

Addict 101.

How to recognize an addict?



Well. Because of that I do not sleep. Because every time I close my eyes I dream about it and I toss and turn around so much in my bed until eventually I give up and open it again. Because I need to know what happens next. And since there is some money in my bank account I wont wait for tomorrow evening;'til Merit brings me last one; I will go to the shop tomorrow morning and spend my last money this month on three books. Seriously, I'm addicted and twisted.



I have Twilight-mania. Obviously.

Pieces.

From that moment I knew that nothing will ever be the same again.

Bella's Lullaby.

Love...


You read about it in the books. You watch it in the movies. You hear people talk about it. You see it. You feel it in so many different levels.


But.


I still can't bring myself to believe it will happen to me too. My little sister tells me, my friends tell me.. that I have no reason to be this insecure. But I am. Why is it that it is so easy to see my friends as beautiful as they are? To love them above and beyond, but seeing myself beautiful is the most difficult thing I've ever had to face? I've tried it so many times.. I mean.. standing in front of a mirror and saying out loud that I am beautiful. I felt like I was lying to myself.


Insecurity destroys me. I need to learn to get over the faults I have. I have to learn not to be so damn critical about myself.


Ainult mina saan oma maailma muuta...

No title needed.

Sometimes I really hate my job. I know I should be a representative of the hotel, but sometimes I would like to scream out loud to the clients that are yelling at me that IT'S NOT MY FAULT! And it doesn't matter how much I apologize, to them I'm still the one to blame. Bloody hell. And what kind of authority do I have when they refuse to pay? It's their right I guess. But what most of the earth doesn't understand that I'm the one that gets the shit thrown at me all the time and I'm the one who goes home with my mood in the gutters somewhere. I know that they dislike the work-me not the real me, but it hurts nevertheless.

Figure it out!

I just couldn't stop myself from writing this to You. It is just my amazement that has made me grin all day long because of that. On the 26th December Moonika came to visit me. We spent the day sitting in Tsink Plekk Pang and among other things we went to the movies. Movie was quite good but I'm not here to talk about that. Not yet anyway. On my right in the movies sat Moonika and next to her were 2 boys. Literally boys. I think they were about 12 or 13 years old. Anyway. One of them looked at me and WINKED! It was true flirting. I was just confused. I blamed his hormones of course. He did take another long look at me when he left. Moonika told me. I was too upset to lift my eyes from my purse. I didn't think of it again. Until today. The son of one of clients in my hotel walked by me today and said "Krasavitsa" which basically means "What a beauty". And he as well was probably 11 or 12. What the hell is wrong with them? Did they forget the use their glasses or something?? Once again I blame the hormones. Bloody calves, grow up. Then You will look at "normal" women :p I mean tall, blond and skinny babes. In the mean while, let me be looked by men of my age and a little bit older, thank You very much!


PS. The movie we watched was "The day the earth stood still". I'll write of my thoughts about it when I feel like it.