Weird

Only the day before I cried for such small thing as losing a roof over my head.. And for being homeless. Boo hoo. So little.. so small.. and so unimportant. The next day, on 7th March of 2007, I got the worst SMS of my life. A friend of mine had passed away. Even now.. when I think about the meaningless death of Tanja I want to cry.. I want to scream. So unfair!!

Today I read Ermannos thoughts about the happenings in Estonia. Although Juvente lost one member, then 10 days later one other (or should I say two others) had a baby boy. I was so happy when I heard the news. On the 17th March was also the 5th birthday of Juvente. Such strange feelings. So confused. We had a party. We remembered our Tanja there. Were sad. But at the same time we celebrated the birth of Robin Markus (cool name, eh?). Life is weird and has it's own way teaching us something important. I'm not sure what he wanted to teach me, but I'll try to find out. At the same time I'll live.

I'm greatful that I have friends who are there for me. I hope I'm as much as a friend to them as they are for me. I love them so so much!
And Tanja. That includes you too!

The mysterious ways of life

Again came a low point in my life. It started on Saturday, when one of my bosses called me and asked if I shoud've been working on that day. I was supposed to, but due to my leaving from Tartu I asked my co-worker to replace me. She hadn't turned up. Now I had a big problem. All other people on our list, who could've come, didn't. Cause they were also out of town. In the last minute I called my sister. She had only been there a couple of times, but only as a client. But still she helped me. I was so greatful!! So this problem got solved, but I still knew that more was coming. Saturday actually was great after the work thingy. We had a good campaign, ate very good food.. and then I went home. Thank god, no-one was home and I could just relax. Then my friend called and asked me out. So I went. I knew I would be out 'til late hours of the evening. Although the next day where elections and I had to be in one of the electionsdepartments from 8am 'til 22pm or so. But I didn't care. I hadn't seen that friend for a while and I decided to have fun. It ended with me sending him home.. cause he had drinked a little :P I spent the night at his place barely sleeping, cause he snored too much. At 5.45 I left and went home. There I did the "Thank you so much for helping with the campaign" letters and started to prepare for leaving for work. And then. Strike 2. First of all my dad had a problem with me letting my sister to work instead of me. I'm irresponsible etc. No point in arguing with him, cause "he's right anyway". Plus if I had argued it could've ended up far worse than just shouting. If that wasn't enough, he wanted to shout more. Typical russian asshole. I'm so sorry, but that's the way I see him. He had a problem with two unwashed mugs, that I had left beside the computer. He asked me to clean them up and then wash them. Since I had to leave to the department, I said that I don't have time to do this right away. He didn't care and then kicked me out. Promised to leave my stuff behind the door also. That ruined the whole day. I hadn't slept much. I had to sit the whole day behind a desk smiling, but the whole time I was thinking about my situation. Where to go? etc etc etc. The day went by slowly.. I still knew that something else was coming.. And I was right. In the evening at the Social Democratics Tartu- and Jõgevamaa elections party I heard that 5 of my friends had been through a car accident. Strike 3. They were fine, but it still shaked me up. The whole time at the party I was sad. Many people asked me what was wrong. But I didn't tell. I just felt going crazy. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream my lungs off. I felt the world crushing me. But there is sunshine. Actually so many sunshines, it would take me hours, even days to count them. Now I'm living with two of them for a while. Friends are irreplaceable. They are your family when your supposed-to-be-family deserts you. And that's the truth. To Raigo, Meelis and Jana. And everyone else who have been there for me in their thoughts and actions..