****2

I knew it! Just my luck! Aargh!

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How can a morning start so lousy?? I wonder what's coming next...

A Cosmo-test.

Like I've always known- I'm a goat between two haystacks. My sisters Cosmo arrived today so I decided to flip it through. And there was a test called "What's Your personal sex-style". I answered to 6 questions and my answeres devided between two letters- 3 "A"-s and 3 "C"-s. Nice. Which one did I choose the most? :P And of course the solutions had to be complete opposites of each other.

"A"- Your sex-style is romantic. Your flirting is very feminine and You react the best to beautiful words and to sensual touches. "Bang and ready" approach doesn't suite You, You need spiritual connection to the partner that cares about You.
and...
"C"- Your sex-style is playful. In Your opinion sex should be a fun activity, so You act carefree and mischievously. In order to reach jolly pleasure You're willing to try bizarre poses or play silly sex-games.

Laugh out loud! :D

Once again.

I want to discuss about the issues of relationships. The idea came from a posting of a friend of mine. It made me think about being afraid. I haven't had a relationship in such a long time. The last one where the other person truly cared about me was in the summer of 2005. Imagine that. It has been so long... Lately and mostly I give this excuse- I like when men chase me not the other way around. I tell that this is my Russian pride that don't let me do it myself. But my friend's posting gave me another point of view- maybe I'm just a chicken. Seriously. I can't deny the fact that I've had opportunities, but either the guys are too lazy or they just lose interest...

Either way. The point of my posting is- I'm not going to stress about the "issue" any more. I'm going to live for myself and for my friends. For those who I have and love so much. They are important. And If the right guy comes then he will wait for my sanity and will not run away. And then, just then I will truly learn to trust men.

To love. In any forms.

Whining mood.

I have had a freakin' pain in my neck for the past two days. I can't turn my neck to the right without feeling an agonizing pain. I think I need a massage, but the point is I don't like it. I don't know anyone who would be able to find the traumatized muscle (Janika could do it, but I won't disturb her) and I don't have the money to go to a professional.

Otherwise everything is well at the moment. Yesterday I saw some people I haven't seen for such a long time and I thought about the friends I have and how much they mean to me and how awful my life would be without them. I felt happy. But still there is something missing and I know what it is. My boss asked me today why I don't have a boyfriend and I honestly didn't know the answer. My other half is missing. But. Kadri told me once that it will happen when I least expect it. I know it's true, but sometimes I feel lonely nevertheless.


Ahaa. If You're wondering why I'm writing in English then the reason is this- as I understood there some none-Estonian people who will be following my blog from now on. So- this is mostly for You, Frede ;) Along with hugs!